I Can’t Stand Bitches

So first of all context. I’m worrying you on day 3 of the insertion of my iud. I have horrible periods and this is my last ditch effort to live a normal life before I find the doctor that will do an ablation and end this nightmare. 

Prior to insertion I looked up everything bad about this device I could find. I watched YouTube videos, asked friends and read a few blogs.  Nobody fully explained this pain. Nobody broke down the fact that it would feel like you were performing Festivus feats of strength with your uterus. For that I call bullshit. This is the case with almost every female body thing that comes up on the Internet. It’s like they’re all trying to audition to be the next white pants, great big smile lady from the tampon commercials.  I’m sick of it. 

Here it is:
1.The shit hurts… if you’ve never actually had a baby,  like myself,  your hooha ain’t ready for this ordeal. Kids carry germs anyway just scrape the plate and get back in the game.  I’m popping Aleve like tic tacs and they ain’t working. 
2. I’m not getting this thing removed sober… just hell no to that.  If out is anything like in then I may just keep this thing until I meet Jesus.
3. Unlike the panic addicts that post in medical boards but never come back with an update (leaving you to only believe that whatever it is had killed them and you’re next) I’m going to blog every time this thing either works my nerves or gives me joy.  I’m in this thing now. Might as well get something out of this wild ass ride I’ve put myself on. 

Until next time. Never trust a bitch that can do cartwheels on her period… something just ain’t right. 

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