So, I’m telling you this story how it was told to me. My friend was about 6 years old. According to them it was a normal day, and they were out running errands with their parent. This is the 90s so getting left in the car while your parents go to conduct business was commonplace. Let’s call my friend Jamie and their parent, Pat. The story is real, the names are fake and designed to protect everyone’s identity and keep me from arguing.

Jamie wanted to be everywhere that Pat went. All day every day, they were getting into the car and on the way. On this day the destination included about 3 additional stops. According to the story the incident took place at stop 2. The way that I heard it, Pat needed to pick up something that the store had serviced. The item was special because it was a gift from one of Jamie’s grandparents. Pat was excited to get the item back so that the grandparent could see how much it was appreciated.

Jamie is naturally nosy. Jamie is so nosy that the moment that Pat goes into the store the glove compartment is immediately opened and rummaging commences. While Jamie was thoroughly enjoying reading things outside of their business a commotion began just at their eyeline looking into the shop.

The storefront was small with just enough room for transactions. There wasn’t much room to move around if a line formed inside, but today, Pat was the only one in the store.  Then as if on cue Pat jumps around to the back of the counter and puts the clerk in a wrestling hold. Here’s where the story gets interesting. I asked Jamie what they did next, and they told me that they put their head down, so it looked like they were still being nosy in the glove box, but they saw that Pat was on the way out with the special item angry and cussing… then they just drove away. The item was ruined, and Pat was content to never do business with that establishment ever again.

They went on with their day. Pat was fussing in the car telling Jamie what the people said that made them upset, but never discussed the tussle. However, the shop is one that Pat frequented, so they knew exactly how to find them, and that’s exactly what they did. They didn’t call the police, but they called their lawyer and sued Pat. Pat sued them back for tearing up the special item. A court case was underway.

Jamie gets called as a witness. They ask “do you know the difference between the truth and a lie?” and Jamie says, “the truth is real, and a lie is fake”. They ask a couple more questions and determine that Jamie is a good witness. When I tell you that child got up there and stuck to their thesis like nobody’s business. The judge handled all the questions. When asked what Jamie saw, this child starts rattling off the contents of the glove compartment. When asked what they were doing while Pat was in the store, that baby said “Being nosy in the car” which was not a lie. The judge asked did Jamie ever looked up, the answer “yes, to see if I still had time to be nosy and I didn’t see Pat walking out, so I kept looking through things”.

I had to ask, “Did Pat tell you how to talk in court?” Jamie, grown and hilarious telling me this story, looks me in the eye and says, “That was all the time watching Matlock, Murder She Wrote, and In the Heat of the Night”. When I tell you I fell out. My friend walked into the courtroom with a plan as a little kid.

Anyway, Pat and Jamie lived happily ever after. Neither Pat nor the shop walked away with much, and even more criminal charges didn’t happen for Pat. Moral of the story? Let your kids watch tv that will actually teach them something, you never know how it might pay off in the future. Also, behave in ways that you don’t mind being told to others. This story happened in the 90s so there’s no tape, but remember people are watching even when they don’t admit it. ~The End.