Dear God,

I promise not to move to the middle of the woods out west when you let me hit this jackpot. I’ll put money into my ventures and stay close to my family so my son doesn’t grow up weird and want eye color change surgery from running out of thoughts on what to do with his money.

I’m not about to tell you a lie about tithing though, at least not traditionally. Only because I believe that you have mobilized and fully funded everybody that’s supposed to be giving your word and if you haven’t then I don’t need to get in the way of your will. You know these folks be out here flexing in your name preaching foolishness. I’ll feed the hungry on my own like I been doing without posting about it.

I know you’re fielding a lot of prayers about this lotto, but I just want you to remember that I leave you alone about almost everything else for myself. So, since I normally only say “Help, Lord!” and get on out the way, I’d like some blessings for your child that’s normally got her own.

Amen

… addendum, I’m grateful for the extra money to even be able to buy the ticket so it’s ok if you have to skip me again. You know I’ll be a good steward out in these streets though so… I’m just saying.

Re-Amen

Hey Everybody,

What kind of lies have you all been telling the Lord you’d do if you win the billion dollar jackpot?

Share your tales in the comment section.

-Black Maggie